Our Rainbow is Here!

I started to write this post in March and never published it. This is an excerpt of that post (which was supposed to be about cloth diapers).

Before I start, I do want to bring you up to speed since it has been a few months. Two posts ago, I wrote about the loss of our third child, Micah Elisha. The post after that was early September with my veiling post. I had weekly iron infusions until early November and my numbers rose due to them. I still take supplements to help keep my levels where they are supposed to be, but my numbers are good. Well, on September 20th, I saw my midwife for a follow up after the miscarriage. We did the yearly routine and she asked me if there was a chance I was pregnant. I told her maybe and was still waiting on beloved Aunt Flo to arrive. She came back from the hallway, peeked her head in, and with a huge smile on her face, she said, "It's positive!" I was shocked because I didn't think it would happen again so soon. Jason wasn't with me, but I couldn't help but tell him right away. He didn't believe me at first when I told him. We kept it quiet until close to the thirteenth week. I was very nervous but I knew that God had this baby in His hands. A few days before Christmas, we found out that our little rainbow baby is a BABY GIRL! We are so excited and a little nervous because it's a whole new world. We, along with the boys, cannot wait to meet her. I am 30 weeks now and she is due May 12th. It's crazy to think in a few short weeks, we will be a family of five and my little Josiah won't be my baby anymore.

It is now May 20th (also our 8 year wedding anniversary!) and our baby girl is sleeping on my chest right now. She is two weeks old and she is just wonderful! I wanted to take the time to write up her birth story because it was just amazing. For those that don't know, my previous labor & deliveries were under doctor care (who were fine) and were all nautral, unmedicated births. I loved both births and with each pregnancy, labor, and delivery, I was empowered and in awe of the human body.

I'm one of those women who love to read and hear about birth stories. I try to encourage friends and family members to try for the natural birth and to trust their bodies when it comes to labor and delivery. After Josiah was born, I read more birth stories and with each story there was something new. There were many things I wanted to do should we have another baby. So, when we found out I was pregnant again, I was so excited to have the chance to have the birth I wanted. My first step was to see a midwife rather than a doctor. I was so happy when I found out that my current doctor office now had a midwife. I planned in seeing her with Micah, but never got the chance to. Once I met her, I knew that I would stick with her :) so onto the birth....

As always, I will include details and if that's not your cup of tea, here's your warning. Birth is a beautiful thing and I want to share this experience for other moms.

May 6, 2014. 6 days from my due date.
I woke up at 6:30 am confused. It felt like my water had broken so I laid in bed waiting to see if it would keep leaking. I also felt slightly crampy which made me wake up even more. "No, not today, Chiara. Wait until tomorrow." Why? There was no midwife from the 5th-6th. I really wanted birth with a midwife. I woke Jason up and asked him to help me up because I felt weird. I went to the bathroom to see what was going on only to find a lot of my plug. I was slowly losing it but it was finally pinkish. I waited a little bit to see if I was leaking. Nope. I started timing the cramps and they were about six minutes apart. I wasn't too concerned because I can tell when the contractions are working and when they are just mild. These were just cramps. I told Jake to stay home because if I were to go in actual labor, I didn't want to have to wait for him to get home, drop Josiah off, and head to the hospital. With a history of pretty quick labors, I didn't want to risk having her at home (maybe one day). Midday, they spaced out and Jason went on a quick trash run. I spent a lot of the day timing and cuddling my baby boy, Josiah. We watched Shrek together and I kept thinking this might be the last day he's my youngest. Around 12pm, they got closer together again so I called the doctors office (assuming the midwives were out) to verify when we should head to the hospital. An hour later, to my surprise, I had a missed called from my midwife, Brooke, while I was taking a shower. I called her back and we agreed that 5 minutes apart in an hour is when I should go in. And better news, she was back! I felt much better and I told Chiara that today could be the day if she wanted. At 3pm, we went to the bus stop to pick up Matti and the app on my phone was yelling at me. "Contractions are 5 minutes apart for more than an hour! Go to the hospital!" We decided to give the boys a snack, finish packing up the hospital bag, load the car, and drop the boys off with his mom. At this point, the cramps were more intense but still not painful. It didn't make me feel the need to panic. By the time we dropped the boys off, it was 4:30, and the contractions were 4.5-5 minutes apart. Still bearable but  noticeable. The boys played in the sand box with their cousins and I was delaying leaving them. I hate leaving my boys, but just knowing that the next time I see them, they will both be big brothers made me want it take in that moment just s little longer. I gave Brooke a call to let her know how far apart my contractions were and we were on our way. She agreed especially with me being GBS+. My phone was still yelling at me but I all of a sudden got hungry. We made a Chick Fil A stop and continued to the hospital 20 minutes away. I text my parents and brother because they would be taking the boys if we ended up staying. We told them we'd keep them updated since I still didn't believe this was it. We got to the hospital and made our way to labor and delivery.

5:30 pm
They were expecting me and we were brought to our room. I hadn't been checked at this point so they checked me to see where we were. 2 cm, 50% effaced, station -2. Disappointment, but in my mind I kind of knew it was early on. Brooke said that if this were true labor, I should be progressing so we would check again in an hour or so to see if anything had happened. I did not want to go home. So, I walked and swayed. The pain was fine, I just wanted something to happen. Jason was reading one of our Scott Hahn books while I was walking around.

7:00 pm
I was checked. 3 cm, 70% effaced. Yes! Progress! Small progress, but it's progress. We then had to decide what we were going to do. Normally, you're not admitted until 4 cm (we had this issue with Matti, too). Brooke asked if I wanted to get my membranes swept. I hesitated for a little bit because I wanted little to no intervention. What I loved was that there was no pressure to do it and we could still say no. We eventually said yes since I was in early labor and I knew my body needed that jump start. I'm sure I could've done without, but I was getting impatient with how slow it seemed to be going. Not always a good reason, but we didn't see any harm in doing it. The pain was still fine but the contractions were getting more intense which is what I wanted. Brooke asked if I thought I would have her within four hours and knowing my previous labors, I told her yes. So, we were officially admitted and my first dose of antibiotics was given. One of my wishes this labor was to be able to move around without wires & tubes and to not stay in bed. They monitored Chiara's heart rate as the antibiotics were going in for 20 minutes. Brooke took out the birthing ball for me (another wish). After that was finished, I was unhooked and the contractions were more intense. I started needing to breathe through them. The nurse and Brooke took notice that my breathing was the only indication that I was having a contraction. I got on the birthing ball and immediately felt much better. I swayed and rolled for an hour until they came to check me again. We sent a few Snapchats to friends of me having a grand old time on the birthing ball. Soon enough, the contractions were a lot stronger. The pain was what I call good pain and I breathed through them. I was fine again after the contractions passed. The contractions were sharp shooting pains and I knew that we were making progress. I didn't have an IV so the time between contractions, I was guzzling down water. Which meant bathroom trips and laboring in the bathroom. I can see why some women find that the best place! The nurse and Brooke eventually came back to check her and had me go on the bed. They noticed Chiara's heart rate drop during a contraction so I got hooked up again. There were no scare tactics, Brooke assured us that it could be from the change of position (ball to bed). Laboring on the bed was uncomfortable. Why did I do that twice? My breathing was a lot deeper and the contractions were getting longer. Yes, progress! They monitored her and it ended up as a fluke and I was unhooked again.

9:15-9:30 pm.
5 cm 90% effaced station -1 bulging bag. Yay, active labor! After getting checked, I got up with all intentions to walk the halls. Instead, I was finding myself in the bathroom to pee and having a contraction on the toilet. I could tell they were intensifying and there was more pressure. As soon as I washed my hands to go out to the room, I would have another contraction. They were about two minutes apart. I handed my phone to Jason and have him hit the buttons for the app. I focused on swaying and keeping myself moving. I realized we hadn't text the people we promised texts to. My phone says at 9:34pm, I sent out mass texts. I sent out 3 mass texts between contractions which were coming quick.

Around 9:45 pm
The nurse came in to monitor Chiara's heart rate. I told her that with my contractions, I felt pressure in my bottom. Contractions were about 30 seconds to a minute apart. She asked if the pressure was constant and I told her not yet. She said when it was, to call them in. As soon as she left, I had a really strong contraction. "Babe, that one was more than a minute. You're close." He could tell by my breathing and I also make this deep noise which he knows from previous labors. Another strong contraction. Jason said, " Two more like that and I am gonna call them." Another strong one and it was bearing down. In my head, "maybe two more.." The next one hit and the pressure stayed. "Okay, call them now. We are really close." He called the nurse and Brooke and Jason told them how they were coming quick and that 'this is how she gets when it's time.' The nurse told Brooke that what I was doing was completely different from what she just walked out from. They asked me to get on the bed to check me. I was standing next to the bed. I waited for the contraction to end but the endless pressure was still there. Jason told them I might need help. The bed was a little high for me so somehow they got me on the bed. I crawled onto the bed and found myself feeling stuck on all fours. The bed was upright. I had my hands on the back part and my legs kneeling on the bottom. I told them I didn't think I could move.

9:54 pm
10 cm, 100% effaced! it's go time! I couldn't bring myself to move so Brooke said she could check me like how I was. She said I was fully ready and I don't remember if she asked me how I wanted to deliver. One of my other wishes was to deliver how I felt comfortable as long as it wasn't on my back. She brought out the mirror and the squat bar which I so badly wanted to use, but seeing as I was "stuck" I birthed on all fours. I was really curious about birthing on fours so I was fine and Brooke said that it was a good position to birth in.

I don't know when I started to "push." I remember there was a calm waiting for the next contraction. I knew in my mind I wanted to let my body to do what it needed. "Have the birth you want Fran." I told myself. I heard Brooke telling me to just do whatever my body wanted to do. I felt the contraction coming and I tried to relax as much as I could. The contraction hit and my body bore down and I moaned with it. I realized then that must be the roar that I've read so many women talk about. It was uncontrollable...it just happened. I realized that I pooped. After the contraction, I asked Jason if I did or not. "I don't know" he said with a laugh. "I know I did. Did I? I'm pretty sure I did. I can't believe I pooped." I was laughing at myself and Jason was laughing because of how concerned I was. Brooke asked if there was a problem. "Humility." Was Jason's answer. She offered to cover me up but that was the least of my worries at that point. Another contraction was coming, and my body bore down and I let out a groan again. There was a lot of pressure and I could hear Brooke reassuring me we were doing fine and then relief with a gush. My water just broke. Somehow, I was leaning into the bed so I was straight up and Brooke kept trying to tell me I needed to move back. "You're not gonna be able to get her out like that." I was in the middle of a contraction and I remember groaning out, "oooooooooookkkkkaayyyyy.....I'll tryyyyyyyy." Jason wasn't sure if I was able to do what Brooke wanted because of my bars but she assured us that I was just doing it. I think she helped me out by pulling me back some. I remember thinking how calm she sounded yet so commanding, but in a nice way. It's funny to remember the things I thought about in all the craziness. My body bore down again and I knew that her head was going to be delivered next so I pushed a little. "Babe, she's here! Her head is out!" Another contraction and Brooke asked me to ease up on the pushing which I didn't think I was doing much of. So, I started breathing out and her body followed. Relief.

10:03 pm
Chiara Alexis was born. 6 lbs 12 oz & 19 in. I turned around (sadly neither Jason or I caught her) and they put her on me. She had a short cord so she could only go as far as my belly, but there she was and she was perfect. She cried and she was beautiful. Our rainbow baby had arrived. One of our wishes was to delay the cord clamping. So, I held her as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing and she got all the blood that was meant for her. After a few minutes, the cord was done and Jason cut it. I moved Chiara up so she could nurse for the first time. Another wish come true. She fed for 45 minutes. I delivered the placenta and I told Jason to look. It was blue since Chiara took all the blood from it so that was neat and Brooke showed us what once held our baby girl. I had a small tear that didn't require stitches. Thank goodness because I hated that part! After she nursed, I let her get checked out and she was perfect. After two hours, we walked over to the postpartum room where we stayed for a day and a half.

I'm so happy with this birth. Like I said, all my births were empowering and I was in awe all 3 times. This time was just amazing because I felt so comfortable, and we were able to do what we wanted. I truly let my body take control and it was that much easier. It is the loudest I'd been at delivery, but also the easiest. Matti's I was just shocked, Josiah's I was calm and had my eyes closed, and Chiara's was just liberating and awesome. The human body is an amazing thing. Women are amazing. Birth is just beautiful.