New start.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A few things have happened & I was really trying to figure out what I wanted to do.

A really good friend of mine passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago. It hurt a lot to hear this news, but I am healing. I met his family for the first time and I was able to say goodbye to him one last time. Jason grandpa also passed away and that was a hard one as well. Jason played TAPS for the funeral & I'd never felt so much emotion as I did that moment. I think it was just a mixture of everything then.

A few days after Blake's viewing, I wasn't able to sleep very well because I was trying to remember as much as I could about him. The conversations we had, what we said, what we did when we hung out...just everything. I was afraid that I was going to forget him & that's not what I wanted to do. I felt bad when his sister & mom asked for a memory of him and I couldn't think of anything more than our phone conversations. One day, I decided to read my old blogs. I had an EasyJournal (which is now gone) and two Xangas (which are still up). In it, I found little things that I had forgotten about our friendship. Reading the posts that mentioned him made me smile & I was thankful that I blogged a lot during that time frame. So, because of that, I decided I needed to make a point to blog a lot more often.

I made a Tumblr for Josiah when he was still in my belly that I was supposed to fill with our adventures, but I didn't do a very good job. I was going to start updating that more often and to make a Tumblr dedicated to Matti. I wanted a place to write everything down since Matti is too funny & I want to remember the things he does now. I haven't made his Tumblr yet. The other day, I realized that having more than one blog would be harder for me since I'm so bad at updating just ONE. So, I'm just going to combine everything to this one. Because this one is titled, "...and this is my life." & they are just that, my life. So, here I will just post again ramblings of a housewife, little things my boys do, possibly recipes that I've tried & have fallen in love with, pictures, and just anything that involves our little world. So, hopefully I will be able to keep up with this more and really truly start blogging again.