work.

I applied to a few places this week. I also gave my resume to someone & ideally, I would love that job. They have free daycare for the employee's children! & I think it would be a good stepping stone for getting back into the 'work force.' Today, I found another job that I want to apply to, but I keep putting it off. They want references and I was going to list the same people I always do, but I needed to make the reference page. Off to Google I went & I found this: SAHM. & I feel like I'm never going to find a job that's not Walmart (the last place I worked). My resume sucks and I know it does because I just put it together when I decided to apply for one job. Also, I've worked two jobs in my life (Asahi as a hostess & a cashier at Walmart) and there's not much I can say I did at those jobs. I sat people down & gave them their menus. I rang people up at Walmart. Not to mention, I worked there FIVE YEARS AGO. Most people that I worked with aren't there anymore & I have no idea where they are--well except for like one person. In the five years, I moved somewhere different, took time off school (I had enough of it at that point because school was drilled into my head since I was in Pre-K), moved again, started online school, got pregnant & had a baby. I don't feel that I wasted the past five years, but I think that I really did need that time to just relax. That sucks for me now, because I have nothing to show (except for the 2 years of online school that I still need to get my certification for) for it. I applied to a few Pharmacy Tech jobs (which I went to school for), but I don't know if that's a career/path I want anymore. I still don't know what I want to do & I am going on 24. & I think that's why I want to work so bad. Aside from wanting to buy things & moving out, I want to find out what I'm supposed to do with my life. I know I want to stay home & raise Matti (& all future kids), but at this point in my life, we need for me to work. & I feel like I need to work. It just sucks because I don't feel like I'm going to get anything. I know God has a plan for me. & I know I shouldn't worry about this because He's got this. I just want to take some of the load off Jason's shoulders. So yea, I'm kinda 'meh' today, but I know that in the end, whatever that's meant to be will find its way.