Time for a change

This is the third blog that I have. One of the other ones I've had for a long time, but I still write in. It's mostly about what I did that day or things that are coming up. The other one only has a few people on my readers list. I don't write there as much & I write there when I can't bring myself to write in the other one. I don't know why. I made this one to just write about whatever I have on my mind and nothing gets held back. I know I can easily do this with the other two, but there's something about having a new blog for a "new" me, I guess. I don't even know if people will actually read this, if not, it'll just be something to look back on for myself. I'm probably one of the most passive people you'll ever meet. The only time I'll say something is if it's something that really touches me or something that I know about. I've also learned that this passive behavior that I have is also a bad thing. It has left me with a lot of things to say, but not saying them in fear of losing someone I care about. It also gave people the wrong impression of me; that I can be walked on. I've been working on this. I am also a big goof & random at times which makes me look like the biggest dork. My biggest fallback is when I meet people, I'm very very quiet. I usually won't say anything unless I'm spoken to, and even then, I'll give the shortest answer possible. I try hard not to do this, but I'm just not good when it comes to things like that. Once I'm comfortable in a situation or with the people, I become my true self. I'll be the loudest short girl you'll meet. haha. With that said, I'm only 4'10" short & an extra inch was given to me 5 years ago when my back was fixed. I got two bars & 14 screws in my back to straighten my back because I had scoliosis--and didn't even know it! In this blog, I want to be able to express my feelings and say what I want. I mean, hiding everything?? What kind of a blogger is that?

I love my husband [&puppy]. I love my family. I love my friends. I love God. And I love FCJ [Families in Christ Jesus] Youth. I love love & I love hard. Sometimes I suck at showing how much I really love and care for someone, but like I said, I'm trying. My husband & I have been together for almost 6 six years [this coming October]. It seems like we've been together longer, and yes, we are high school sweethearts. He's everything that I want in a man & I know that sounds so cliche, but I'm not kidding. Everything that I wanted past boyfriend[s] to be, and I tried for them to become, is everything my husband is. I believe that everything happens for a reason & that whatever is meant to be will always find a way. He's in the United States Navy & we're coming up on 4 years being with them. Our time with them might be coming to an end, but nothing is sure for now. I thank him for everything that he has done & is continuing to do for me & for us. He's my rock.

My family. We're kind of weird. We show our love to each other by doing things for each other rather than spoiling ourselves silly with gifts and whatnot. Gifts were never a big thing with our family for birthday or Christmas. It's always been what we needed rather than what we wanted. I hated that as a child, but I love them for that. I'm glad that I wasn't spoiled, yes we did get gifts, but not thing crazy. I wasn't always close with my parents & little brother [who isn't so little anymore]. It was more of a just do your own thing & leave me alone. My parents were very protective over me, and I hated that growing up. My relationship with Jason was very hard because of how strict my parents were. I didn't understand alot of the things & rules they put on me, and some of them I still don't understand. I know now that they just love me & wanted the best for me. They didn't want me to hurt & they wanted me to be careful. I wanted to please my parents even though they probably didn't realize it. My parents wouldn't have let me get married at a young age if they didn't think he was the guy for me. I guess the 4 years it took for them to understand our love for each other & that we were willing to work hard [& with the Navy], but it's all fallen to place. I hate to say that we're now closer, but better late than never right? My "little" brahder just graduated high school. I didn't like him very much most of my high school years because he was the spy for my parents. I had to take him everywhere I went & he had to report back to my parents. Towards the end, he stopped doing that though. haha. Us together is so funny. We're both so goofy & we're so comfortable with each other that it's crazy. I can't describe the relationship that we have, but I know it makes me smile. He's got the most amazing girlfriend whom I love so friggiin much it's not even funny. That's all I'll say about that. My friends are pretty much the same friends I've had since high school. We're not the typical group of friends. Our ages range from 14-22., lol, but we make it work. We also don't call each other every day to see what's going on, because duh, I have a pretty boring life. haha. When we do talk or see each other, we just pick up where we left off. Catching up is better that way anyway. We're all pretty random & loud, but that's not a bad thing because it never gets old. We're happy with just sitting around doing absolutely nothing and still be laughing our butts off. They're the most amazing group of friends and I don't tell them enough.

This is quite long already, so I think I'll stop for now. I promise I won't write an essay next time, I just wanted to get all of this out for now. Happy Thursday & enjoy the first day of summer.